Hot Takes & Spicy Roasts

Popular Books That Need a Reality Check

Welcome to Willows Library’s first-ever Book Roast Session where we take beloved bestsellers, sprinkle them with sarcasm, and serve them piping hot. Disclaimer: This is all in good fun! (But also… I’m not entirely wrong.)

1. Twilight by Stephenie Meyer

The Roast: Ah, Twilight—the book that made stalking romantic and emotional manipulation a love language. Bella Swan’s greatest achievement? Breathing. Edward Cullen? Over 100 years old and still hung up on high school. The real villain? Jacob imprinting on a baby. Sweet home Alabama vibes.

Silver Lining: At least it gave us Midnight Sun, which proved Edward’s inner monologue is just him screaming "I SHOULDN’T BE HERE" for 600 pages.

2. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

The Roast: This book is the "live, laugh, love" poster of literature. It’s 200 pages of vague, fortune-cookie wisdom that people treat like the meaning of life. "Follow your dreams, the universe conspires to help you!" Cool, but my student loans disagree.

Silver Lining: It’s short. You can read it, roll your eyes, and move on before the existential dread kicks in.

3. Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James

The Roast: Where do we start? The writing style? "Oh my." The BDSM? As accurate as a Wikipedia skim-read. Christian Grey’s redeeming quality? His money—because it’s definitely not his personality.

Silver Lining: It inspired 365 Days, which made Fifty Shades look like Pride and Prejudice in comparison.

4. The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown

The Roast: This book is the literary equivalent of a conspiracy theory YouTube deep dive. "The Louvre! Secret societies! Jesus had kids!" It’s National Treasure for people who think they’re too smart for National Treasure.

Silver Lining: It made art history kind of exciting? (But also, please just watch National Treasure.)

5. Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

The Roast: The ultimate "I quit my life to find myself" fantasy—funded by a book deal. Most of us can’t afford to eat in Italy, let alone pray in India or love in Bali.

Silver Lining: It did give us the iconic "I’m in a relationship with my pizza" energy we all need sometimes.

Bookworm’s Note:

📖 This is all in good fun! Books bring joy, even the ones we love to roast. If any of these are your favorites, no shame! (But also… defend your faves in the comments. I dare you.)

🔥 Roast Request:
Which overhyped book should I tear into next? Drop your nominations below!

Subscribe for more spicy takes, unpopular opinions, and the occasional heartfelt review (when I’m not in a roasting mood).

Yours in literary chaos,
Laura
Willows Library

(P.S. Want a positive deep dive instead? Check out my [Kate Daniels post]—no roasts, just pure love.)